When we speak of connection the first thing that may come to mind is your internet connection. The world wide web has allowed us to access people in all areas of the globe, but it has also rendered us more disconnected than ever. Connection is seen as a comment on social media, a “like”, a text message, a tweet, an email. This form of connection even infiltrates face to face connection - where people are so busy checking responses, posting messages or answering texts instead of connecting with the people right in front of them. A couple sitting in a café looking at their phones is not an unusual occurrence. We also see this in the train, walking down the street, in the grocery store, where people are too busy looking at a device, with headphones in, to make eye contact or see each other. What happened to striking up conversation at a bus stop? What happened to a personal written letter? Picking up the phone? Smiling at a stranger? Or being wholeheartedly present with another person?
Showing up fully creates more time and space for genuine connections, deeper understanding and sincere love. - Amanda Scott
To be wholeheartedly connected with another human being is where true magic happens. The type of connection that is truly soul nourishing, heart-warming, open and present. One of my favourite writers in this area is Brene Brown. Her research shows us that the human biology is hardwired for connection and in the absence of authentic connection we suffer. Belonging is a human emotion that we cannot deny. Exploring the kind of connection that doesn’t require hustling for acceptance, or changing to fit in, is at the centre of feeling wholeheartedly accepted.
Face to face connection is imperative in our true belonging. Social media lacks this component. – Brene Brown
How do we become wholeheartedly connected?
Building a strong and authentic connection with others is based on trust which is the stacking and layering of small moments of vulnerability over time (Brene Brown). This can come in the small human moments. It can show up through paying attention, listening and gestures of genuine care and connection. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, joy, trust, intimacy and courage – everything that brings meaning to our life (Brene Brown).
How can we give and accept care with compassion and move past fear into a place of genuine tenderness? I believe it comes about when we can be truly transparent, seeing the world clearly AND letting the world see us. - Roshi Halifax
Stories and experiences
In the past, I turned to the notion that “I don’t need anyone” and “I’m happy on my own”. However, if I really became curious about it, I found that although I don’t depend on another for my happiness, I feel most whole when I am able to connect with others. It is the moments when a friend takes the time to listen, the sharing of stories, the acts of kindness in making a meal or writing a letter, a hug, a smile. It’s saying “me too” when you feel like you’re the only person feeling an emotion. It is being recognised and understood. As I move through my journey, I have found that these small moments are what warms my heart – when I feel fully accepted as all of me, by another and wholeheartedly connected.
As social distancing measures start to relax and we are allowed to share company - let’s look to create connection with others, feel a sense of belonging in our communities and take moments in life to be truly present with each other.
If you’d like to connect with a beautiful group of women online and continue to explore this, I'd love to see you in Wholehearted Circle. Please see the link for more details.